Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Blueberry

One thing I don't get about my neighborhood -- there are people who just hang out on the streets during the day. Not hookers, not drug dealers, not criminals .... just people chatting and soaking up the day. What are these people doing?

Without going into a huge rant about the fact that my tax dollar supports many of them, let me just share one little story that gave me a giggle ......... (I omost said "chuckle", but I hate that word. Chuckle sounds like up-chuck). Anyway ........

So there's one guy ... let me call him "The Blueberry" because he always wears blue and frankly, has a bluish tint to his skin. The Blueberry can always be found sitting on a step somewhere. He walks 20 feet, then sits. There are spots where you know there's a good chance of finding him -- certain steps, certain corners, but never outside of a 2 block radius. Nice enough guy, but not exactly the picture of health and prosperity.

I commented to DD the other day that it looks like The Blueberry has lost a lot of weight .... maybe from 500 pounds to 300 pounds .... seriously. The Blueberry has told me before (when he sits on my next door neighbor's step) that he use to have big muscles (as he flexes) and be a football player who got lots of girls. Uh, ok.

So DD and I were in the car riding through the hood, and he points out a house under construction and tells me The Blueberry has been hanging out those steps lately, and the construction guys have put him to work. I'm baffled!! First of all, the place is about 6 blocks away!!! AND they are paying him to do work. WORK??? THE BLUEBERRY IS WORKING????

I ask: "What kind of job is he doing?"

"He squirts the pavement with a hose to keep the dust from blowing around."

huh???? Rewind.

The Blueberry has a job squirting the sidewalk with a hose.

It gets better. He has been doing this one week and had to take a day "off" yesterday because he's "sore" from working.

I guess work is better than no work, and venturing "out" is a big "step" -- no pun intended. I am just amazed. How do people end up like this?


Los said...

I can squirt the sidewalk, and I don't even need a hose ... I'll be here all week!

schue said...

OMG! That is the best! I think you could dedicate an entire blogsite to him. I'm still angry i didnt get to see him fall from the corner. It think one time we saw him, he told us about all the places in the hood he's fallen.

SGM said...

So let me get this right, I can lose 200 pounds in a week by increasing my roaming radius from 2 block to 6 blocks and spraying the sidewalk with a hose.

Blueberry better look the f out - I'm gonna cut in on his action!

PS - Schue - oh my!

Cary said...

Blueberry doesn't need a hose. He can just fart and send all that dust down to Delaware.

"Sore from working".. I need to use that one.

I don't like loiterers either, L. If I were a cop, I would roust them every day, and if they didn't move quickly enough or complained, I would pop them with my nightstick. I'm serious.