Saturday, March 15, 2008

Speedos, Mamajuana, and Peacock Poop

We're backkkkkkkk!!! I'll just jump right into some random vacation tidbits:

The Iberostar Bavaro in Punta Cana is a beautiful resort! Absolutely perfect in every way. I highly recommend.

Lots of boobs and speedos, just as I expected. I didn't, however, expect all of the boobs to be over 60 years old and over 300 pounds. And all the speedos to be on men who .... well, picture John Goodman in a speedo made for a guy the size of Jerry Seinfeld. One day at the beach bar, some old butt-ass naked lady came and plopped down at our table next to DD. She had 2 drinks and never said one word to us. Maybe because when she sat down DD said "Hey, get a picture of me with Miss February here!" I don't even know if she spoke English or not, but I felt quite violated.

I actually exercised on vacation! I took the aqua gym class every day at 11:30. Fun. Especially after an hour or so of mimosas and pina coladas.

There's a very popular drink in the Dominican Republic called "Mamajuana." It's rum that's been heavily infused with cinnamon, vanillia and other spices and is served on the rocks. Yum ... very delicious. Davey Dogs kept ordering Marijuwanna.

I also played beach volleyball one day. Basically, I suck but a bunch of strangers were nice enough to let me join the team for a game. I felt so sporty, and even though I never hit the ball once I did fall in the sand a few times trying.

Speaking of volleyball ..... we watched some kids playing volleyball one afternoon while we were lying on the beach. All the guys were wearing big flowery trunks ... it looked like a clothingadvertisement. Davey Dogs commented that they reminded him of the old "Jams" that were popular years ago. Then he made me laugh ... he told me his buddies use to make fun of him because he didn't have real Jams. They all teased him -- "Davey Dogs wears Spams."

Our airport shuttle never showed up to take us to the airport. We ended up taking a crazy cab ride. Hey, what vacation is complete without a crazy cab story? Our cab driver did a 45 minute ride in 25 minutes. We bump-drafted every car, truck, and motorcycle on the way to the airport. The car was at least 20 years old (the same as my parents' old 83 Toyota Tercel that I inherited when I was in college), and had no shocks. The road is barely paved and every time we hit a bump the bottom of the car scraped the road. I thought for sure we'd be powering our way to the airport ala Flinstones automotive technology.

The fresh fruit in Punta Cana is delicious, very succulent, and served for every meal ... and in every drink. Pack immodium (and lots of it) if you go.

We made the mistake of leaving a half-eaten plate of hors d'oevres on our balcony overnight. Bad mistake. The next morning, there was a giant peacock on the balcony who had dumped about 4 pounds of peacock poop .... likely containing the remants of our nachos, pizza and skewered mystery food. I feel bad for our cleaning lady.

If I ever figure out how to get the pictures off my digital camera and onto my computer, I'll post some for you to see. I'll warn you though .... the climate was humid and my hair took on a life all it's own. With my half tan/half burn and my big fuzzed out hair, I kind look like a bushwoman.

It's good to be back though, and I'm looking forward to getting caught up on reading all of your posts. Tell me, que pasa???


Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa - hold up here. A peacock on your balcony? Were you in DR or Versailles? It sounds like a fabulous time was had. And you know about Murphy's Law of Nudists - those who shouldn't, do.

Was so happy to read about your great holiday, but selfishly glad you're back, too!

Los said...

Wow - FUN!

All you need for the digital camera is a usb connector - most likely, it came with the camera. If not, you can buy them at Best Buy, Circuit City, or any computer store. Just bring the camera with you so you can make sure you are getting the right connector.

Los said...

YAY!!! You're back! I'm sure it was a blast!! So lots of nudies? ewww.

Anonymous said...

Did your hair look like Monica's on Friends when they all went to the Caribean? Remember, Phoebe asks her where the rest of the Supremes are.


Rara said...

Always enjoy your posts Lisa and glad your back! Sounds like a blast was had!

Kelly said...

Glad to hear the DR was nice.
The Miss February comment made me laugh out loud.

Phil and I plan to go to the Excellence resort in PC later this year. I told him I would not renew his contract for another year unless he took me to the carribean.

Crazy cab ride!? Crazier than the 4 hour cab ride we took through the Egyptian desert?

I look forward to trying some of those marijuanas