Tuesday, December 4, 2007


I absolutely LOVE the holiday season!!! Buried somewhere in my sarcastic, practical self is a mushy pile of sentimental goo that loves all that stuff that most people can't stand. Here are a few of my favorite holiday rituals and memories:

1.) Unwrapping my ornaments as I decorate my tree. This may be the opitomy of my holiday season. When I pull my Carmen Miranda ornament out of her swaddling cotton wrap and place her front and center on my tree (perfectly positioned near a light so she glistens), it nearly brings me to tears. Truly, I should be ashamed of myself for admitting to being such a dork!

2.) Singing "Ave Matree-a" on the Christmas tree lot after finding the perfect tree. This happens after walking the entire lot, and is a signal that my search has come to an end. People stare but I don't care.

3.) One year, my sister, my friend Herbie and I took my Dad's big gigantic pick-up truck to the tree farm. I have no idea how this started, but on the way home we began whistling "Silent Night." When we got to the high note, all of us burst out laughing hysterically. What a bunch of geeks!!! I don't even like that song, but now every time I hear it I giggle. (We later went to Herbie's house and decorated his silver tree from Goodwill with bubble ornaments and beer caps. Maybe we were hitting the eggnog a bit early that day!?!??)

4.) Prepping for my annual Christmas party with Sue. For two days straight, we cook, laugh, drink, and go to the corner bar in our stinky cooking clothes. In fact, I owe her a BIG THANKS for putting up with me during this process. (Shue -- I swear, this year we're keeping it simple and finishing at least 3 hours ahead of time!)

5.) On Christmas morning my Dad is always the first one to wake up and he yells "Ho Ho Ho' at the top of his lungs ... repeatedly ... until everyone gets out of bed. This usually begins around 6:00am. My Dad is 6'4" and built like a big ole mountain man, and when he bellows it makes the walls rumble. It's not a big deal anymore, but when I was in my teens and 20s and couldn't get up before noon, his ho'ing really pissed me off and I'd wake up every Christmas morning in a bad mood. Now I'm up before him and I just lay there and wait for his signal.

6.) The "A Christmas Story" marathon on TNT. I love that movie and still have to watch it at least once during the holidays. If and when I ever get my basement fixed up, I think I may need one of those dumb leg lamps for my bar. You know, the one marked "fra-gee-lay!"

7.) Screwing up my Christmas cookies. I can't bake, but I love to decorate the cookies anyway. Usually they're inedible (one year I made them with olive oil ... ooops), but at least they look good -- or funny.

8.) I get a phone call every Christmas Eve at midnight from my friend John. He's always bombed up when he calls and asks me if I remembered to leave God and Santa a snack. Seriously, I have no idea why or where this started but he does it every year and now I kinda look forward to it. What a nut!

9.) My Christmas Party!! I must say, it's one of the best events of the year. Every year at my party I have at least one moment of nerdiness where I sit back and watch all my different circles of friends mingling, dancing, the Christmas tree in all its glory, people stuffing their faces, somebody running around with Blanta, and I get all warm and goofy inside. I'm excited for this year because I think a lot of people will be coming -- especially some folks I haven't seen in a while. After my big sentimental moment, I usually do a shot or the humpty dance or something.

10.) Dressing up! I love during the holidays how people get fancy and festive with their outfits. I love me some sparkly clothes, chandelearrings and fancy hair! This year we have 4 dress-up parties to go to. It would be 5, but my company gives everyone a $5 lunch coupon to the cafeteria instead. Nice, but I prefer not to be wearing a badge at a party unless it's part of a Halloween costume.

More to come on traditions I don't enjoy ... or maybe I'll just skip right to New Year's. That's an event unto it's own!!


Rachel said...

Interesting read! brings back memories!

Los said...

I love Christmas - I usually love buying gifts for others, and getting great reactions when they open the gifts. I usually get sick of the Christmas songs pretty quickly, but look forward to them every year!

Anonymous said...

I love Christmas too! I'm excited this year cause i got most of my shopping and wrapping done.
I look forward to helping with the party, but yes - we're making it easier this year so we're not ready to fall asleep by the time the first guest arrives! I also like to sing "Walking in my Winter Underware"!

Sandi said...

I love the "A Christmas Story" marathon, too. And I'm looking forward to your party this year.

As for Christmas cookies, why don't you do what I do--slice and bake. You can still decorate them and NOBODY ever knows the difference. Well, in your case maybe they will because they'll be edible.

kelly regan said...

Baah humbug!

Lisa said...

Rachel - thanks for stopping by!

Kal - If you miss the carols you know you can always hear them at my house in mid-February.

Shue - in the ghetto we can build a blowman

Sandi - I'll let you be the taste-tester. (Warning: my cookie decorations are about 10 years old. The green color has nothing to do with food coloring.)

Kelly -- What did we ever do with our rewrite of the "Sound of Music" lyrics? "How do you solve a problem like the mummers?" I may need to post those so we nver forget!