Like Nails on a Chalkboard

Is there anything that just by its mere presence sends you into "ew, get it away from me" mode? A sight ... a sound ... a smell ... a person? Something that just makes you flip your gizzard until it disappears?

Last night as I was upstairs changing out of work clothes into comfy clothes, I heard some familiar sounds emanating from the noise box in my living room. In the blink of an eye, I felt compelled to take 2 flights of steps in 3 large strides to get to the remote control. This sound HAD to be removed ... immediately.

What was it?

Cartoons.

I. CAN'T. FRIGGIN. STAND. CARTOONS.

Especially animation of the adult variety. Like King of the Hill. Family Guy. South Park.

I love the humor of The Simpsons, but I just can't watch it because it's a cartoon. I don't know why, but I just find cartoons to be completely un-entertaining and un-watchable. Kinda like watching the car dealership commercials where the guy screams at you to "c'mon down for our sale of the century. You can get a free hot dog and a picture sitting on top of our pet camel while we try to sell you a crashed up hoopdie with a new paint job and big shiny wheels."

Whatever dude. Keep your hot dog. Keep your hoopdie. And hey Comcast, can you please make sure no animated figures appear on my small screen? Is it too much to ask for the $100million a month I pay you for 10 good channels (if that)?

Kid cartoons are slightly more tolerable, but not much. And I will admit to enjoying some of the animated feature films, such as "The Lion King" and the old classics like "Cinderella" and does anyone remember "Song of the South?"

There are a couple of other exceptions to my cartoon-loathing: The Flintsones, the old Schoolhouse Rock, and ..... and. Will get back to you if I think of any others.

To me, cartoons are in the same category as clowns, comic books, and comic strips. Weird. No, thanks. Come to think of it, I'm not too fond of most stand-up comedians either.

All of these things are supposed to be funny. Maybe I stubbed my head at an early age, but I just don't get it. And unlike onions, which were completely unpalatable at one time, I don't think my tastebuds will change when it comes to my distaste for cartoons. If cartoons were ingredients, I'd definitely pick them off my pizza.