Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Basement

Some people have scary basements. Like at my parent's house, I was always terrified of the basement. When I had to go down there I'd make a ton of noise ... I'm not sure if I thought I was scaring away the creepies or just hoping that somebody would notice if the noise stopped, and they'd know to come save me. So now that I have my own house, I'm happy to say that I am the proud owner of, not a scary basement ... but a funny basement. Yes, I think my basement is funny. In fact, my basement is notorious for having weird stuff in it. It's like there's some magnetic force that calls crazy items to flock to my basement ... and they must like it there because they never leave! Yesterday I wandered downstairs to put something away, and stopped for a second to take in the sights. Here is some of what I saw:

  • A statue of a deer -- I think someone who use to live in my house left it here. Thanks!
  • A fiberoptic Christmas tree
  • A can of fruit cocktail
  • My pimp. -- Let me explain. I went to a theme party where everybody had to bring a decorated glass. I got a humongous glass and made it into a pimp. He has an afro and a big hat that say "Pimp Juice."
  • A 3-foot tall sequined roman trojan mummer hat ... and costume. I also have another mummer costume with a 3-foot tall sequined hat. These always come out at parties, along with my extensive collection of wigs.
  • Blanta. -- Blanta is a 4-foot plastic African American Santa Claus who lights up. I won him at a Christmas Party.
  • Herbie Ermie and Miss Ellie. Herbie Ermie is a crazy looking puppet and Miss Ellie is a big stuffed pink elephant. I never liked stuffed animals, but I can't bring myself to get rid of these two gems that I've had since birth.
  • A pinata that I bought for a Mexican-themed dinner party that I hosted. I use to have a blow-up cactus too, but I took it as a hostess gift to a party I went to. A couple of my friends (John and John), Schue and I have a tradition of bringing something weird from our house when we visit each other. Schue and I went to visit the Johns last year, and brought them a blow-up cactus and some fake snow.
  • Purple glitter go-go boots. These were part of my "Beauty School Dropout" halloween costume. I wish I had kept the big foiled roller hat that took me hours to make. It was stunning, I must say!
  • A karaoke machine.
  • Framed prints of Elivs and MLK. (Check out previous post for the history on how that ended up in my possession.)
  • A jigsaw. No, not a puzzle ... a real, electronic cutting machine. Uh, like I'm ever gonna saw anything! (Although I do have a massive toolbox that I totally dig!)
  • One million (roughly) glue sticks. I can't sew, but if there were an Olympic event for hot gluing things, I would be a gold medal winner ... hands down!
So that's the short list. I wonder if anyone else has a funny basement like me? I hope so, because life's too short to have an entire floor of your house being scary.


Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

That's the SHORT list? Haysoss Marimba, girl, that's quite the Ripley's Believe It or Not you've got going on. I do believe that I may have my plane diverted to Philly on the way to Florida, just to marvel in all the kitsch. Could you possibly post a picture of Blanta? This makes me giggle. Maybe it's just better to keep that visual in my imagination.
Over here in Lotus Land, our variety of house does not have a basement, but instead a variety of hidey-holes all over. Pretty creepy, and I really avoid going in them if no one's home. Usually I just stand at the door, and chuck the stuff in and hope for the best.
You're far braver than me!

Kristin G. Burke said...

I have some beautiful pictures of Jay sleeping with Blanta at one of your famous Christmas party nights all lit up (in more ways than one). It's nice he has something to snuggle with down there.

Los said...

I have a picture of a ham in my basement ... lots of Rolling Stones pics, a Bobby Clarke pic, and a Monty Python picture .... I'm boring.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

No fun basements here. I did have a basement in CT that came with a crap load of dead mice when I moved in. Once their little corpses where gone, it turned into Big Daddy land, full of guns, bullets, and tacky navy ball glasses.

Yours sounds like a adventure waiting to happen. I would have loved finding a place like that as a kid. It would have been like finding Narnia!

schue said...

We have a wrestling helmet, AKA the weiner hat. If you win a game of darts, you have to wear it.

kristin said...

I'd like to live in your basement. Is there room?

Kelly said...


carymc said...

Basements remind me of making out with high school girlfriends. None were scary, until one girl's pop caught us sucking face.. which wouldn't have been so bad, I guess, if both my hands hadn't been up her shirt. Oops.

Purple Teacup said...

OMG I love this. WE have our first basement and it's a little spooky to me. I think the scariest thing is a patch of sticky soda residue that the previous owners left. Found you thru Scarlett!