Ranting & Raving

Clear the decks and make a little space .... here comes the soapbox, so be forewarned. I think this is actually all rant and no rave, so maybe the title is inappropriate. Anyway, I've got a bitter taste in my mouth, and it's not because I've been eating eggplant that didn't properly soak prior to cooking,

Nobody got promoted to Senior Vice President of Flower Watering while I work my knuckles to the bone trying to resolve our nation's healthcare crisis. My car didn't get hit in the parking lot. My shoes match. No one snickered at me as I fell into the elevator and nearly knocked a girl half my size unconscious.

So, what's eating Barbra Peapod?

I'm sick of people crying about accountability .... "we have to hold THEM more accountable", "people need to be accountable." It's always something "they" need to do more of ... somebody else is never accountable enough.

The truth is, most people can't handle being held accountable. The hot seat is uncomfortable. It's much easier to claim to be a picked-on victim, or dismiss the server of accountability as judgmental. Horse shit, I say. Suck it up and take your medicine. That's what it is to be held accountable.

I'll tell you one thing, my boss is the master of holding people accountable. She's assertive, direct, open and honest. You never need to look over your shoulder to see if she's coming after you -- she'll be right in front of your face. I love it. I'm so grateful to have learned my skills from a pro.

The thing is, America says it's clamouring for "increased accountability" these days, but nobody thinks it applies to them. Accountability is for someone else. By the way, "increased accountability" is another one of those buzzphrases I hate.

Wanna know why people don't really want accountibility even though they say they do?

Because what it really means is that you get called out for being stupid. For doing bad work. For being irresponsible. For making bad decisions. It means confrontation. One person has to have the balls to say, out loud, to someone that what they did (or didn't do) sucked. It also means you have to accept the consequences for the impact you make on the world and people around you.

Personally, I think this is a great thing.

Accountability doesn't need to be done in a big meeting, and it doesn't take a team to do it. It's not just for work, it's for anything. What do people think -- that they can wander through the world doing whatever they want, however they want, wherever, whenever, and they don't have to accept the impact of their actions on anyone else? Fuck that.

In particular, Corporate America is full of a bunch of spineless windbags. "Accountability" is overstated and underserved. What I see in the news (and even at my own job) is that lots of people sugar-coat or turn their heads when something really should be addressed head-on.

You know, years ago I was working hard on a project and things weren't going well. It seemed the harder I worked, the worse things got. The customer was unhappy and no matter what I did, it didn't help. I explained to my old boss all of the things that were tried and the reasons they hadn't worked, and the barriers. You know what he said to me? He said, "You get paid for results, not effort." I knew that I had to figure it out or I'd be gone. And he was right.

Now THAT'S accountability. Right between the eyes.

So I changed my approach, figured it out, and things got better. I loved his message, even though it was hard to hear ... yes, you tried really hard, but it didn't cut the mustard. You don't have to work a zillion hours, you just have to produce results. Okay. So I vowed to work less and accomplish more, and it's actually worked out quite nicely.

So getting back to my bitterness, I'm sick of assholes not being held accountable. I'm sick of hearing people whine about wanting accountability, but not for themselves. Here's where I'd like to see some accountability:

• Bad decisions "for political reasons" are self-serving, cowardly and a waste of hard-earned taxpayer dollars. People who make bad decisions for political reasons should be removed from their position.
• People raping our welfare system by filing claims of "disability" so they never have to work again even though they are perfectly capable fucking enrages me -- and some of these people are my neighbors and acquaintances. Get off your stoop and go to work.
• Octomom and her doctor should tarred and feathered. Need I say more?
• People with bad credit who got high interest loans ... you agreed to the loan so pay it, and stop whining.

Who do you want to hold accountable? Serve it up, I say.