Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I Do Dumb Stuff -- Part Two (The Twentysomething Years)

OK, so here's another list of dumb stuff I've done. This isn't a list of absent-minded events, but stuff I planned ... schemed ..... did with full consciousness. It is probably safe to assume that intoxication and my friend John are a common denominator for 90% of the list.

Finally, as I look back over the list before I hit the "Publish" button, I realize these all occurred during or shortly following the college years. The fact that there's nothing in this list from life after 30 probably doesn't mean I haven't done dumb stuff in my thirties, but the opitomy of my dumb-ness clearly came in my twenties. Perhaps another post will be in order to showcase the dumb stuff I've done after surviving the list below.

Enough babble. Who cares. Here goes:

  • I've already told you about climbing out of a car window while riding down the highway, and clinging to the luggage rack in my skirt (and big 80s hair). But, I just told you again in case you missed it the first 3 times.
  • I bought (and wore) (a zillion times) (and in lots of pictures) a floor-length, bright purple winter coat. With all the friends I have, why didn't someone stop me? I looked like Barney!
  • The night before my friend John's college graduation, I put my hand through a window in the hotel room (I was trying to knock ... oops). This resulted in all 8 of us to get kicked out of the hotel -- just as he was supposed to be graduating. Try finding a hotel room for 8 at Penn State on graduation weekend ... and explaining it to his mother.
  • I once pretended to be one of the famed Jamaican bobsledders (a la "Cool Runnings"). This resulted in me breaking my middle finger when the "sled" crashed at the bottom of my friend's steps. It turned out to be quite a realistic re-enactment. Ironically, I also had to explain this to John's mother.
  • If you ever eat long stringy noodles and then feel nauseous, do not throw up in a bush. First-hand experience has taught me they are invisible in the evening and look like noodle tinsel in the light of day. Bad idea. Make it to the bathroom.
  • I got a perm ... on purpose. I can't believe that after cringing through years of my mother giving me Toni home perms that I actually did this to myself. This tragic perm was followed up with a very short bob haircut, and was supposed to make me look cute for my first semester of college. Instead,my head looked like a big penis with a curly helmet. I proceeded to grow my hair down to my butt crack over the course of the next 4 years.
  • Pool hopping over a barbed-wire fence is a bad idea, especially if you're not athletic (and even if you are). I have the scars to prove it.
  • Now this one wasn't my idea, but my friend John coaxed me into it -- We drove my parents' lawn tractor all around the yard at 3am after returning to their house (where I still lived at that point) after a night on the town. I'm just thankful the house was built well and withstood one particularly large crash into the side of the house near their laundry room.
  • I tried to double dutch (jump rope, for you non city-slickers). Once. My feet got so tangled up in the rope I fell on the ground and knocked myself unconscious.

OK, my brain is worn out for now. If I think of more, I'll add to the list tomorrow. In the meantime, let me know what dumb stuff you do.


Los said...

Alcohol is like the devil on your left shoulder (you know, when you have the devil on one side egging you on, and the angel on the other side telling you not to do it).

My friend and I had a saying, with alcohol, "Anything is possible, and everything seems probable."

Robbie said...

OMG friggin hilarious about the perm

As my friend Les says - if your going to be dumb, you gotta be tough!! We went tubeing on the lake loaded and she broke her finger in 3 places!

SGM said...

Gee - Me thinks most of these events included John - am I right?

What about the nude years?
Are ya going to do a post on that?