Monday, April 28, 2008

Talladega Recap

I just got back from my 5 day excursion to the Talladega Super Speedway in Alabama to watch a NASCAR race and camp. Here's what the scene looks like:

What did I think of it??


ALOT!! ! ! !!!!!!!!


So here's a little summary of the last 5 days with 3 other girls in an RV:
  • Drove 7 hours from Louisville to Talladega, Alabama.
  • There were at least a million people camping, literally. Campers, tents, people ... as far as the eye could see.
  • Flags of every kind flew everywhere: American flags, rebel flags, Talladega flags, NASCAR flags, driver flags ..... you get the point. There were lots of flags. DO NOT go camping at a NASCAR race without your flags -- you'll feel left out.

  • I had no idea how much fast engines and bump drafting could excite me. I'm telling ya -- I wouldn't have believed it if someone had told me. But the sound and the speed are un-fucking-believable. My eyeballs were glued to the race the entire time.

  • Dale Earnhardt Jr. is hot. See ... (and he drives the 88 car ... good numbers!)

  • My clothes were purchased out of the back of a hauler. Even tank tops!! (I'm tellin ya folks .... I'm in deep!)

  • I fit right in, except everybody said I had an accent.

  • One night we went to a giant camping karaoke dance party. I'll have to post pictures when I get back to Philly ... words can't do it justice.

  • The people that camped and went to the race were incredibly nice and fun. We made friends all over the campground -- even got invited to a fried turkey dinner one night.

  • Another night there was a big campfire singalong with some guys who played the guitar. Of course we all sang "Free Bird" and "Sweet Home Alabama." And "Rocky Top" -- one of my favorite songs of all time.

  • Race Day 1 was for the amateur squad -- not too many big names. Lots of crashes though. After the first day, I was pumped up for Day 2 -- the big race.

  • Sunday was the big race day. It was so much better than the day before (which had already knocks my socks off and curled my hair). The engines were bigger, louder and the cars were faster. These guys drive 200 miles an hour with their bumpers touching. In some turns there were 5 cars stretched across only 3 lanes ... talk about balls of steel. They've got em! I was so excited wacthing the whole thing -- seriously, I thought I was gonna pass out.
I know us northerners make fun of all the redneck NASCAR fans down south, but I'm hear to tell ya -- they're onto something! Don't knock it until you try it!! And the crap on TV doesn't do it justice. I'll be looking forward to checking out a race at either Pocono or Dover sometime in the near future. Any takers???

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Wanted: Dream Analyst

When I woke up this morning, Davey Dogs told me I was talking in my sleep last night. Not much of surprise, as I've heard since a young age that apparently my mouth runs 24/7 whether I'm awake or not. But you know, it always makes me a tad nervous --- hmmm, what did I say??? Hopefully nothing horrible.

As it turns out, my nocturnal utterings last night were not horrible .... just weird. Accoring to DD, here's what I said:

"I've had enough! I've Had. E. NOUGH!!!"

He said I was pretty emphatic, so he asked me what I'd had enough of .....

"Pat Sajak!"

And then I went back to sleep.

I'm thinking I need a dream analyst for that one. I don't remember dreaming about Pat, Vanna or the Wheel.

Friday, April 18, 2008

42 Years Ago Today ......

"The Sound of Music" won the Oscar for Best Picture and something else I can't remember.

Yes, I admit it -- this is one of my favorite movies of all time. I know all the words and can sing every word to every song. (I even fake a Julie Andrews British accent when it's called for, even though I butcher it -- quite heinously in fact.) It's pretty annoying to watch it with me unless you share a passion for the movie and the music. Trust me, not a lot of people have the stomach for this.

But at least 3 other people do .... which leads me to my story ........

THE single most memorable time watching the movie was when my crew (Kelly, Schue, and Lil Fuzz) and I went to "The Sound of Music Singalong" at a theater in Philly. It was one of those events like the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" where people get dressed up like the characters, sing and recite lines through the movie, and even throw things. Singing, noise, and costumes? Right up my alley!!! (Throwing things ... not so much.)

So 3 of us made our costumes --- we dressed up as the goat marrionettes from "The Lonely Goatherd" puppetshow song. These outfits consisted of homemade craft fur goat "helmets" with horns that we spray painted gold. We had wooden marrionette sticks with puppet strings hanging down our backs. Alternatively, Schue dressed up as "Helga", the second runner up in the big talent show. You know who I'm talking about .... the big woman who bowed and curtsied incessantly as she accepted her award. Anyway, Schue wore her (now) mother-in-law's authentic German dress and braided her hair like a 60-year old school marm. I think we also stuffed her dress with some padding and a big set of knockers.

As we drove to the show -- 4 giggling, hideously costumed girls smokin cigarettes in Kelly's car --- we pulled up to a red light at South Street with all our windows down. Somebody standing on the corner, pointed at Kelly behind the wheel and said to his friend, "Hey, look at that dude's hair!"

OMG, we cracked up!!!! (I'm still laughing about it -- 6 years later.)

We got there and hardly anybody was dressed up, so naturally we looked slightly foolish. Yeah, there were a few gay men dressed up like the Baronness. I also remember one creative soul who dressed up as the pine cone that Maria sat on during her first family dinner with the Von Trapp family.

Anyway, the show was great. We sang as loud as we could, and laughed the whole way through. Afterwards, we got to be in the costume parade on stage and if memory serves, I think the goat/Helga combo even won first prize!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Pineapple, Anyone?

In an effort to watch my girlie figure and make sure I'm not mistaken for a float in the Derby parade next week, I've really been watching what I eat. Not just watching it like I usually do -- as it goes from the fridge into my mouth -- but really trying to be "good."

So yesterday I cut up some fresh pineapple, put it in a plastic container, and brought it with me to work. I ate 'er up for lunch, rinsed everything out, then threw the container back in my bag to bring home. Good, right?

Well, fast forward to this morning -- I had a business meeting at a vendor's office, and about 15 minutes into the meeting noticed something smelled a little odd. I discreetly sniffed the people sitting on either side of me -- wasn't them. I slyly checked my pits -- everything okay there. When I realized it was coming from under the table, I thought maybe somebody (else) stepped in poo and didn't realize it -- not the case.

What I finally figured out was this ...... Apparently yesterday before I ate my pineapple, the juice leaked all over the bottom of my bag. And it was sticky. And everything in my bag turned sticky. And it fermented -- like gross pineapple wine mixed with my work papers, umbrella, and other girlie work bag things. As it dawned on me what had happened, I sat there ... in my meeting, with a bunch of people who were probably wondering why the room smelled like a pile of trash doused with rancid pineapple juice!

At the very first opportunity, I requested a short break. People scurried from the conference room with blackberries in hand, and in my only short window of opportunity, I hid my smelly trash bag behind a cabinet in the conference room.

I don't know if anybody else ever smelled it -- if they did, they were nice enough not to say anything like "Do you have a dead animal in your bag?" Or "Did you pack yourself a lunch that you forgot to eat -- last year?" I'm telling you, this stink was BAY-AD!!!

How embarrassing! That sucker's getting OXY'd tonight!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Automotive Stuff = Yucky

My car lease is up in a couple months, and I'm absolutely dreading the whole process of turning my car in and finding a new one. On my list of things I will put off forever if possible, this ranks up there with:
  • figuring out how to upgrade or fix anything on my computer
  • getting blood drawn
  • assembling anything from Ikea
  • having somebody paint a portrait of my ass
  • being attacked by killer mosquitos
All things automotive just turn me off. If there were ever a good use of pixie dust, it would be to make my old car disappear and park a new one right in front of my house. Part of the problem is, I really like my car and I don't want to part with it. But I also know I'd probably drive it for the next 30 years if nothing forced me to get a new one.

So many decisions:
  • cool or practical
  • hybrid or regular gas
  • lease or buy
  • new or a 1-year old
  • make/model
My only real requirements are: 4 wheels, 4 doors, a salesman who doesn't treat me like a bimbo (just because I'm disinterested doesn't mean I'm stupid), and voice activated everything with bluetooth.

Is that so much to ask for?

Monday, April 14, 2008


Two weeks from today I'll be in an RV, driving back to Louisville from a long weekend road trip to Talladega, Alabama. It's the first leg of my two week visit to the Southern half. As I mentioned a few weeks ago (Derby Days and Talladega Nights), I'll be roadtripping from Louisville, KY to see the big NASCAR race in Talladega ... yes, ala Ricky Bobby.

So what does one wear to a NASCAR race for 4 days? I called my friend DeDe, who's going on the trip to find out. After all, the other 3 girls are pros at this and travel the globe for all things NASCAR. I've never seen a race and don't follow it, so I'm a serious novice.

Here's what she told me:

You can buy all of your clothes out of the haulers when you get there.

Huh? Certainly a girl would feel a little uneasy about going on a 4 day road trip to a race track camp ground with no clothes. "How can this be", I asked. "And what's a hauler?"

Well, apparently each of the drivers has tractor trailers -- haulers -- full of merchandise, and they show up a couple of days before the race so die-hards (and people with no clothes) can shop for their wares. The back of the semi has a door on the side, you walk in, and voila .... everything you need for 4 days of NASCAR!!! I didn't know this, but part of the reason we're going a little early is to take advantage of this shopportunity. We already have the Dale Jr. beach chairs, blankets, tent, picnic ware, cup huggies, and I don't know what else ..... now all I need is a t-shirt.

I'll definitely bring some clothes, but I'm gonna go for it -- I'm following the advice of a pro and buying my clothes out of the back of a tractor trailer at the Talladega Superspeedway. Tonight, I'll be headed to Target to see if they have some back-up, just in case the haulers don't work out.
UPDATE: It looks like I'll be buying my clothes out of the back of a "hauler." Target would've been great if I wanted to wear a NASCAR grill cover. Or a bumper sticker. Or make a necklace out of a Dale Jr. car air freshener. I did, however, buy a pair of #88 pajama pants.

Have I mentioned how friggin excited I am?!?!?!?!?!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

New Blog Address

Hey everybody ... I'm changing the address to my blog. It's just too long to type and hard to remember. You and I know it's easy to pop it into your "favorites", but I've gotten a lot of feedback that it's just too damn long. Hell, I can barely type it!

SO ..... my new blog address is:

I hope you'll still come to visit!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008


Tonight is monthly Martini Night with the girls. But it's not just any ole Tini Night .... it's special. Our friend Kat moved away almost a year ago, and this weekend is her first visit back to Philly. Hopefully I'll have something funny to post and maybe even some pictures tomorrow.

Until then, here's what happens when 8 gals from South Philly cram into a photo booth in a bowling alley ....

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Oh no, I'm "IT"

Aloha friends! No, I'm not returning from Hawaii, but an episode of the Brady family vacation to the Big Island. Thank goodness for DVR -- I'm never more than 2 clicks away from an old fave.

So I got tagged with the very same meme by a blogger (Baroness) and not-a-blogger (Well Read Hostess), which is the first time I've been tagged with anything since I got tackled by a cab driver in my Easter egg suit at 15th & Pine years ago. (I'll save that story for another time.) In fact, I'm not really sure how to say "meme." Is it meem? Or mem? Or may-may? hmmm. And what does it mean? And stand for? Is this in Webster's ... or is that obsolete now that Wikipedia is on the scene? I don't know, but will have to find out.

Anyway, I decided to accept the challenge and will now attempt to lull you into a trance with "6 Unimportant Things About Me." The only problem will be narrowing it down to six. Here goes:

1. Favorite foods: Cheese and unagi. Not together though. Ever. Ew.

2. Favorite color and other words that are fun to say: chartreuse, souffle, chandel-earrings

3. An embarrassing moment: Explaining to my mom at age 5 why I tied myself to a chair in the basement. (My kindergarten class had taken a field trip to the county jail earlier that week, and well ... I guess curiousity got the best of me. I wanted to know what it was like to be in jail. Um, did she drop me on my head at a young age???)

4. Movie I recently saw: Juno ... 2 thumbs up.

5. Guilty TV pleasure: Flavor of Love 3 -- hands down! This season I'm torn between the "Hip Hopera" and "Wedding/Funeral" episodes. Both drove me to the brink of depends.

6. 15 minutes of fame?: Yes, a cameo appearance on Fox News "What's Buggin' You?" I appeared as "Concerned Driver" explaining the perilous consquences of having 10 sets of lines to guide 3 lanes of traffic over the Girard Poit Bridge on I-95South. The bad news -- The camera didn't add 10 pounds, it added 20. So, I looked fat in my chartreuse sweater, and my hair was blowing all over the place in the 40 mile/hour winds. The good news: it got fixed.

So there you have it -- a look into the mundane side of yours truly!

I think I'm supposed to pass the baton to 6 more people when I'm done, which is nearly impossible since I only have a small handful of folks who read this fledgling blog who haven't tagged me or been tagged already. Anyway, if you made it this far, do me a favor and spend 2 minutes posting a handful of unimportant facts about yourself. Consider yourself IT!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Happy Birfday to Schue!!

Today is my BFF's birthday!!! Schue turns 25ish today, and we're gearing up for a big birthday bash over the weekend. In the meantime, I couldn't let the big day pass without a few reflections and happy birthday wishes for my dear friend .....

Schue's very sweet .... like an M&M treat!!!

She loves her hubby!!

(Turn your head sideways for this one ... until I learn to rotate pictures!)

She's a little nutty!!

She knows how to turn a mattress dessert into something edible!

She's got great hair and lots of fashion flair!

She can walk like an Egyptian!!

Schue's a pro at gettin' fancy schmancy!!

She even hike's through nature in a dress!!!

She's the life of the party!!

And a terrific friend!!

Love ya Schue, and Happy Birfday!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


I finally figured it out --- Thanks for the help everyone!!

Cheers! From my pimp to yours!